Stuck

The price of a week-long vacation is the work that accumulates while away. That, on top of the usual daily stuff has caused me to be buried at work at a very bad time. I think it's safe to say that I've picked up the same amount of stress that I dropped while on vacation. It's not bothering me as much as it should though... it's nice to keep my mind occupied with it.

I don't know why, but it's been hard to cope this week. Every day is getting harder. I miss her so much and I can't stand it. I can't believe that it's been a month already. It's been a month and she's obviously fine without me. Boy, that really feels great... knowing she doesn't love or miss me enough to have second thoughts... knowing I treated her so well and loved her so much and that she threw it away. It apparently wasn't worth enough... *I* wasn't worth enough to her.

An ex co-worker is having a barbeque on Sunday and I was invited to go. It would be nice to see him again and hang out with the gang. The only problem is that for the past year, when I've hung out with him and the others, I've always brought her. She got along great with them and we always had a great time. So, to go there on Sunday without her, knowing we'll all never hang out like that again, just takes all of the fun out of it for me.

I can't think of what I'm grateful for today.... it's hard enough just breathing in and out.