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Saturday, September 29, 2007


I worked six hours today and then decided to treat myself to a pedicure. I got a really cool dark blue colour put on my toes. I came home in a great, relaxed mood and then... I stubbed my toe. Fucked up the polish on two toes on my right foot. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!! I grabbed my purse and went out searching for the colour. The closest I got was a colour about two shades lighter. Sigh..... bought it and put it on. You can't really tell from a normal distance... but up close it looks like hell.

So yeah, no more relaxed mood...

Exhausted Vent

It is soooooo hard to keep up with this freakin' work schedule. My goodness.... I just want to pass out for an entire week and have absolutely no one talk to me. I'm so cranky... I'm surprised I still have a girlfriend.

I start work around 8:30 am most days and work until 7-9 pm every night. Then I work an 8 hour shift on Saturday. And I'm *still* not caught up at work... hell, I'm barely maintaining! I hate not having a back-up!!!!

I think I'm going to be able to finally start training someone to be able to back up a few things that I do. It's the finding the time to do that though. I'm hoping within a month I can accomplish that. Thank goodness one of the managers is willing to give up one of their people for this. Not like it'll help me on a daily basis, but at least I'd be able to take some days off and/or pass off some work when I have insanely huge/important tasks that must be accomplished ASAP.

Today I'm grateful for:

* My girlfriend for recognizing that this too shall pass
* My elbow and shoulder for not aching as much today as it has for the past month
* My boss whom I can still call when I need help
* Sunday and next weekend... yay, days off!!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Okay, okay... I truly suck these days.

Every damn day I say, 'Self, you miss your blog... update your damn blog!' and then it gets to be late and I say, 'Self, you suck...'

Work is so crazy busy that I'm working until 7 pm most nights and on Saturday until 4 pm. Tomorrow I think I'll probably be in until 9 or 10 pm because I just have too much work right now.

I received a phone call today informing me that my gynecologist passed away suddenly, and that I will need to pick up my file by Friday at 4:30 pm. I was absolutely floored and the whole rest of my day was a little off because of it. How strange that the death of my gynecologist could upset me more than the death of my uncle last month. Then again, I have probably visited him more times than anyone sees theirs in their whole lifetime (and I was going to make an appointment later this week to see him again because I'm still in so much pain, etc.) and he has the best bedside manner. The one image that came to mind when I received the call was of myself sitting across from him at his desk and him saying, "Well my dear, we've had you go through so many tests and procedures and so far we haven't had much luck... but don't you worry, we're going to fix you up." Most doctors, after a few visits basically give up and say the same thing - "Well, let's just monitor how you're doing and if you find that the [insert symptoms here] doesn't/don't go away in a few weeks, come back and see me." which is basically a "Fuck if I know what the hell's wrong with you!" kiss off.

Anyway, I don't have the time to go to the office to pick up my file so I think I'm going to have to call and ask them if Jules can pick it up for me. His office is only five blocks away from her house.

To unwind this evening, my sister, Jules and I went to see Sydney White which I thought was pretty good. I love Amanda Bynes - she can always make me laugh.

I bought and tried a new body wash today. The only reason I'm mentioning something lame like that is because I really like it and it makes the whole bathroom smell really good. It's Dove's Cucumber and Green Tea body wash. Mmmmmmm.... I bought the hand soap counterpart as well.

Oh, and yeah... I received a speeding ticket this morning on the way to work. And best yet, when I handed over my insurance and registration, the cop noticed that my insurance was expired. It isn't expired but for whatever reason that I can't remember, I took out my current insurance slip for something and forgot to put it back in. So... yeah, because I didn't have my agent's number on me and because my insurance company's new branch was just a few blocks away, I received a police escort there so I could prove I had insurance so I wouldn't get a ticket on top of my speeding ticket. Jesus... what a way to start my day. I'm not angry that I received a speeding ticket - I totally deserved it. I'm more mad at myself for not putting my insurance slip back in my car. Oh well... live and learn. I've signed up for a defensive driving course through AMA (also my insurance company) to take off three demerits because I'm pretty sure I have six now...

Today I'm grateful for:

* The company Help Desk in MN...
* Jen for her e-mail updates (and her sense of humour)
* Not getting a second ticket
* My girlfriend for being so wonderful
* Having seen my friend before he flies back to Korea

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Okay, a little less cranky...

Off to Tim Horton's in a few minutes. Mmmmmm.... coffee.

I feel a little better this morning, probably because I slept 8 hours while only waking once around 1 am. I'm sore as all hell from last week's trauma, but it's slowly becoming more bearable as the morning progresses.

Tonight my sister invited me to her friend's album recording at some place in the city. It's hip-hop or rap or something... whatever... I'm bringing Jules and Ryan and we'll be drinking before it begins. ; )

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Still cranky...

I don't know what the hell's wrong with me lately. I'm in such a bitchy mood. Maybe it's PMS... hm...

Jules and I went to the Oilers/Panthers hockey game last night, courtesy of her boss and his executive suite. Now *that* is the way to enjoy a NHL hockey game... private bathroom, drinks, food, comfortable seats.... It also helps that the Oilers won. : )

On Sunday I had one of the most perfect lazy autumn days. It was gorgeous outside so we walked a couple of blocks to a restaurant for brunch and then walked around her neighbourhood which has a ton of little shops and stores. We found this really interesting bookstore and I found a great book on the rules of karma. Once I'm finished Viktor Frankl's Man's Search For Meaning I'm going to start it. We also found this great stationary store where I found really stylish Post-It Notes (I didn't know you could get To Do list post-its...cool) and eventually we parked ourselves on the patio at this really nice Starbucks where we read various newspapers and asked each other questions out of Love And Sex by Gregory Stock who was the author of The Book Of Questions. Eventually we wandered home and then went over to Safeway for some light grocery shopping (ie less than $50). When we got home, Jules put in the movie Elizabeth because she's totally psyched for the second movie coming out later on this fall. It was a pretty good movie, overall. Man, nobody could trust anyone back then. Anyone could be a traitor, if not initially then eventually after being bribed. Crazy.

I went to see The Brave One with Jules and her gay guy friend, Ryan. Ryan and I get along so well, it's scary. We could be the same person... or at least that's what Julie says. Anyway, the movie was pretty good although I think it could have had a little more substance. Let's face it though, Jodie Foster + revenge = hot.

I hope my American twin is doing well and resting comfortably this week...

Today I'm grateful for:

* My girlfriend
* Hockey season starting
* Late starts at work this week
* Free lunch at work tomorrow
* Gorgeous, crisp autumn days

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Cranky rant of sorts

I have been in such a bitchy mood this week. The fact that Jules still likes me (or rather loves me) is beyond me because I've been short and cranky all week. I think she understands because she saw how screwed up I was on Tuesday and Wednesday, plus she has major drama going on in her own life with her soon-to-be ex-wife and her ex-girlfriend and her ex-girlfriend's ex-wife. Jesus Christ, it's the fucking L-Word except not nearly as entertaining. She's been sharing everything with me and I've been getting really frustrated with how she's being so nice to them when they're totally taking advantage of her. And then, she tells me this afternoon that her wife went over to her place this morning and tried to put the moves on her (was trying to kiss her cheek and neck and wouldn't stop hugging her and wanted to lay down with her and hold her, etc. while telling her she smelled and looked so good and she loves her and has missed her...). Jules told me she felt so weird. I told her that it doesn't surprise me... that while her wife is waiting for her move to New Brunswick in two weeks, she still thinks she can have her wife until then.

Oh, the best though is how her wife refuses to have the reason of adultery put on the divorce papers. Who the fuck is she kidding?? Talk about not taking responsibility...

Okay, enough venting about that. I'm just tired and cranky... I worked 12 hours today.

Today I'm grateful for:

* The card I received in the mail
* OT to catch up on work
* My plans for tomorrow
* My shoulder/neck pain easing up a bit

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

One month

Today is the one month anniversary of my first date with Julie. We aren't doing anything for it because I'm at home suffering from a horrible muscle spasm that started at lunch time yesterday. She was here this morning though and she left me a note book detailing highlights from the past month by day. So sweet...

I went for ultrasound treatment on my right shoulder/neck area this morning and then spent the rest of the day trying to get comfortable at home. It's pretty sad when I had to get my mom to help me get dressed this morning and brush my hair because I absolutely cannot handle that kind of movement (hence why I did not go to work)...

On Friday Jules, Ryan (a close friend of Jules who is also gay... he's who I'm 'engaged' to on Facebook right now, lol...), and his boyfriend are going out for dinner and then going to see Jodie Foster's latest movie, The Brave One. I'm so excited... I can't wait to see the movie. Of course it'll end up being a work night for me because on Saturday I'm going to have to go in and work a full shift to make up for today. Just when I thought I'd caught up...

I have a stomach ache right now and I think it's caused from the massive amount of Advil I've taken today. Must stop that for a while...

{{{{{sending vibes to Jen}}}}}

Today I'm grateful for:

* An understanding temporary boss
* Being able to re-schedule my conference call to tomorrow
* Getting in for ultrasound treatment on short notice
* My girlfriend for getting up at 2:30 in the morning to rub my shoulder and neck for 20 minutes when I woke up in agony

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Weekend update

I worked a lot this weekend... getting the fiscal month of October scheduled. That's a load off of my mind now.

Lots of drama around my girlfriend and her, um, wife. Her wife is seriously messed up. It's such a strange situation...

I've been eating way too much junk this week. Candy, chocolate, pretzels, cake... what the hell??? Must stop doing that. I think the reason is that it's the only stuff I can eat that doesn't hurt my stomach (go figure)... for some reason I've had really really bad heartburn this week. It feels like a pill dissolved in my esophagus or something. Whenever food or drink passes a certain spot it's pure agony.

I'm having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the fact that I have this wonderful woman in my life who devotes so much attention to me. This afternoon I kind of mentioned how I wasn't used to it and it hurt her feelings. I had to back track later and tell her I was just being stupid. It is a little much for me right now, but I'm sure I'll get used to it. I don't know...

I hope my Ohio Jen is resting comfortably this evening and that she gets good news at the doctor tomorrow {{{{{vibes}}}}} I'm worried about her. :(

Today I'm grateful for:

* My girlfriend
* My sister
* Getting some work out of the way
* Feeling mostly better

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Worse today

I ended up coming home from work early today. I finally gave up at 1 pm after my boss said, "Take your germs home!"

I'm going to fall into bed and turn on my gorgeous television and finish The Sound Of Music... sounds wonderful.

Funny thing - when I'm sick, my eyes turn green. Weird, eh? I wonder why they do that...

Mild freak-out moments this past weekend/today... I think Julie's fallen in love with me. Actually, I know she has. I think I'm about 95% there myself... gosh. It's only been a month! Of course I've never had a relationship quite like this... it just all works so well, so who am I to say what time is right? It's still freaky though... I'm not used to being treated this well, like it's too good to be true. Perhaps I'm over thinking things a little. I told her I'm only in the present right now... not looking at the past or to the future... I'm just being in the present. She agreed to that, although I think because she's experienced a similar past to me that she can't help gushing about how well things are, etc. It's adorable but like I said, I'm not used to it.

Okay, time for my drug-induced nap...

My gratitude list is the same today as it was yesterday. : )

Tuesday, September 4, 2007


Yesterday at work I started feeling a little off and when I got home I had a two hour nap and a hot bath to try to shake it off of me. I felt better by the time I left home to go to Julie's place... she cooked me dinner for the first time last night. It was sooooo good but I couldn't eat much because of how I was feeling. I started getting a sore throat last night and it was a little worse this morning. I had planned on sleeping in while Julie went to work but my cell phone kept ringing. It was work of course and I ended up having to have a freakin' conference call with marketing people in Mississauga over artwork for new products we're launching next month. I'm sitting there in my pyjamas and tousled hair and they're asking me if I have the artwork in front of me. Um... no.

After the call I suddenly felt like total shit. I barely crawled back into bed before passing out. Julie came home at noon and I barely knew she was even there. She went to the drug store and got me some drugs and soup and then I was up for a couple of hours before having to sleep again. The day was a complete write-off but at least I had a wonderful girl to look after me. Despite all of the sleeping I've done today, I think that when I go to sleep in a few minutes that I'll pass out quickly. I really hope I feel better tomorrow... work is unbearable when under the weather...

Today I'm grateful for:

* My girlfriend for taking care of me
* My temporary boss at work
* My day off that ended up being a sick day
* The Hairspray soundtrack

Saturday, September 1, 2007

I made a decision... how unlike me!

My god, I'm getting terrible with this updating thing... damn vortex of first stage-ness!

I'm at Julie's (aka The British Girl) place waiting for her to get her stuff together so we can go back to my place and set up the brand new television I picked up today.

God... I spent $850 on a fucking television!!! Well, it was six something but I paid for a 4 year warranty (because god knows something will happen...) so it came out over eight.

It's a Toshiba 26" gorgeous LCD television... I'm in love with it. I'm not in love with knowing I'll be spending the rest of the month paying it off of my visa account, but whatever... I gave in finally.

Last night I took Julie to see Hairspray and I loved it just as much this time as I did the first. I really want the soundtrack because it's a great pick-me-up. Next up I'd like to see The Nanny Diaries because I loved the book.

I think a trip will be made to Home Sense at some point today or tomorrow. I love that store for it's bargains of linens and dishes and glasses, etc.

I went to the dentist for a cleaning yesterday and actually fell asleep while they were cleaning my teeth. All I heard was, "Ah! I'm sorry!" because my mouth had closed and she almost gouged me in the face with whatever she was using. That's how tired I am these days... I can pass out while getting my teeth worked on.

My parents are acting strange lately because I haven't been home much. I honestly think they like me single and at home... hm... well that's not going to work. So far there hasn't been much time to introduce them to Julie (my parents are rather anti-social now that I think about it) so they don't really know what to think yet. My sisters seem to like her a lot though, so that's good enough for me.

It's so stupid... I have today, Sunday and Tuesday off... but I'm working Labour Day Monday. What the hell is wrong with me? Oh yeah, I have a brand new TV to pay for... yes, double time and a half for the sake of the television.

My passport is still held up somewhere in Quebec. I've left two messages but have not had anyone get back to me. Why the hell did they tell me to leave a message for them then??? Isn't it obvious that I'm the only person who is renewing their passport this year??? Mine is very important, dammit... I have a trip coming up, um... sometime... so clearly, it should be rushed!!!

My goodness, I've missed writing down my thoughts.

Today I'm grateful for:

* My sister
* My girlfriend
* The work week stress easing off a bit
* Getting my laundry mostly finished before the weekend started
* Finally making a TV decision
* The weekend