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Friday, March 30, 2007

Well, that's one way to diet... not.

Lunch yesterday gave me food poisoning. Yay! I had important, time sensitive things to finish at work in the afternoon, but I had no choice but to leave early once I could manage to drive without expelling lunch in an inappropriate manner.

I think I managed to fall asleep sometime after 1 am after the stomach cramps finally eased. I have a 13 hour day at work today due to fiscal month end. Just what I need...sigh.

What's funny is that it was a completely unhealthy thing that I was eating... so basically, I was cheating on my diet. Boy, have I been punished.

Today I'm grateful for:

* Only living 15 minutes from work
* Getting my laundry done well ahead of the weekend
* Managing to frame my four 4x6 photographs without a mishap like last time
* Feeling more relaxed and less stressed in the past two weeks

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Fade In, Fade Out

Today I was e-mailing my friend, S, about friendships. She mentioned a few people who I had once also been friends with, who she feels are fading out of her life and whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. In the particular case of these friends, I suggested that it was a good thing because they are all pretty absorbed in their lives and if they cared enough, they would reach out every once in a while. But then this made me think about the different kinds of friendships it's possible to have with people...

There is the 'BFF' type of friendship where there is almost daily contact one way or another. This is usually limited to one or two people because it's hard to pay that kind of attention to several different people on a daily basis.

There is the High School type of friendship where you might run into them at the grocery store or occasionally call or receive a call from them maybe once a month or once a year. There is no real awkwardness because it feels like not a day's gone by since the last time you last saw them. And when you part ways, you know it'll be just as long until the next time you talk to them and sometimes think that you might want to call them more often, but then forget about it soon after.

There is the online or long distance friend, who is almost in the High School category except that you don't run into them, unless perhaps at an airport or a vacation/gathering. I tend to miss online friends more than High School type friends because I think I talk to them more thanks to online messaging and e-mail. There are many times where I wish I could fly down to LA to see three of my good online friends or over to Toronto to visit two other good friends who now have an adorable baby girl. There's also my friends in the Vancouver area, especially the roller girl, whom I miss very much. Sometimes it's just not fair how expensive it is to travel.

There are the co-workers who are also friends. Those friendships are pretty volatile, depending on the job. Sometimes work can cause arguments and frustration that hurt the friendship. And of course, there's always the saying (that is completely true!!!), "Co-workers make good friends but friends do NOT make good co-workers". Amen.

There are the toxic friends who make it hard to maintain a friendship with them. Friendship shouldn't be hard work with fights and uncomfortable silences. You wonder why you're friends with them in the first place and yet you find it hard to break away from them. Sometimes you keep the friendship on life support because they are friends with some of your other friends and feel like you would ruin other friendships by killing the toxic one. I know one person like this, who happens to be one of the people my friend, S, was talking about today. We used to be great friends who were very close. Over a period of time, she turned into someone else... it was like night and day. She hurt me badly several times and forced me to cut not only her out of my life, but some of her other friends who were also good friends of mine. I made a clean break that hurt like hell for a very long time... but looking back, it was the best thing I could have done. Sometimes there are very painful things a person's gotta do to make their life better. That was one of them for me.

I don't remember where I read about it, but someone somewhere said that friends fade in and out of your life and that's totally normal. It's impossible to keep a ton of friends all close to you because of time and other obligations. Besides, as soon as you find a significant other, most friends go on the back burner anyway until the 'honeymoon phase' is over. Ha ha..

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Overreaction Maximus

Yesterday, my sister made me a copy of the Music & Lyrics soundtrack that she purchased off of iTunes. She decorated the CD all pretty with the names of all the songs and left it on my laptop to grab and stick in my car when I got home. When I got home, I saw the CD and stuck it *somewhere*. Hours later, my sister asked me if I had seen the CD and I told her yes, thank you. Then I looked around and asked myself, 'Um...where the hell is the CD???' I literally turned my bedroom upside down looking for it, I was sooooooooo mad. How could I put something somewhere and completely blank on where only a few hours later??? I was chatting with my girlfriend at the time, so she was a little confused as to why I was so angry over losing it. Well, it's infuriating!!! Anyway, after about an hour of frustrated searching, I decided to listen to other music, so I opened a random CD case that I thought contained other music, but there it was... the CD. I meekly let my girlfriend know that I had found it and promptly put it in my laptop to listen to. Nothing comes up. I open iTunes to see if it'll play in there. It tells me I've put in a blank CD.


She didn't actually get around to burning anything on it.

She only decorated it and by the time she was finished, forgot she hadn't burned anything on it yet.

I spent an hour searching for a blank CD.

I let my girlfriend know this, and I honestly don't think I've ever heard her laugh that hard. My sister did the same thing when I phoned her to let her know. "Y'know, now that I think about it..."

Yeah, it was funny. I guess I overreacted to begin with.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

I hate Sundays...

Why does the weekend always fly by? It never used to. Then again, I used to work four days a week, 10 hour days... now I work five days a week, 8 hours a day. Seems like every day.

I've been slacking on the blog this week, mainly because I spent the first half of the week fighting with my girlfriend over a few issues. We have this issue with communication that is partly her fault and partly mine. I think we both like to keep things inside too much so as to spare the other person or something. We ask each other if something is wrong and we both answer, 'nothing' until finally someone does admit what is bothering them. I've been concerned about this for a while because I read somewhere that couples that keep things inside and don't talk about the things that are bothering them aren't as emotionally close as couples who verbally fight/bicker. I think that since we do usually end up voicing our issues within a few days, we're probably not that bad off.

My best friend threw me a little belated birthday party on Saturday night. She prepared WAY too much food. I felt bad. Usually our mutual co-worker eats enough for five people, but I think last night he only ate enough for two. I think I must have eaten enough for two as well because by 11 pm I felt ill from the food. I had to leave my own freakin' birthday party early. That's the second time in six months that I've had to leave a party early because of feeling ill due to food. The last time I had crab that made me violently ill. Thankfully last night ended up not nearly as bad.

Saturday during the day, my sister treated me to an afternoon at a spa getting a pedicure, massage and my hair styled for my party. Best birthday gift ever. The woman who massaged me is massaging Nelly Furtado on Monday. I'm sure Nelly will be very pleased with her massage... I thought she was amazing.

I resisted for a long time, but have finally brought a TV into my bedroom. I've been having some trouble falling asleep before 11 pm so perhaps it will help. I know, I said that wouldn't be a good idea, but since I have to have something on for my insomniac girlfriend to fall asleep to when she's over on the weekends, I figured it would be better than having a DVD playing on my laptop, draining the battery. It doesn't have a sleep feature on it which sucks, but usually a TV turning off startles me away anyway. The stereo always does (when I fall asleep to Wayne Lee's self hypnosis CDs and sleep/relaxation CDs). The TV didn't have a remote (it got lost somewhere) so I went out and purchased a universal remote control from Wal-mart today. What's the point of laying in bed watching it to fall asleep when you'd have to get up to turn it off.

My other purchase today was a pair of running shoes. I've been wanting to start walking again for weeks now and now that the weather isn't super cold every day, I figure now is the time. My sister is also changing jobs and will have better hours, so she'll be able to walk with me and hopefully we can motivate each other. Two years ago I lost 70 lbs... in the past seven months I've gained 25 lbs back. I cannot let this slide continue!!!! I have to get back to exercising (and eating better, but that's a separate battle). Now that I have the shoes, I'm hoping I can stop making excuses.

Today I'm grateful for:

* My sister, the motivator
* Wal-mart being open until 10 pm on Sundays
* The universal remote control
* Good books
* Cheap movies
* Self-Help books

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Jasper Pics

Here are some pics from Jasper...

Athabasca Falls (partically frozen):

Mountain across from the falls:

In town on the way to breakfast:

Elk on the road, oblivious to traffic:

Chillin' on the side of the road:

Still waiting for spring...

This cold weather we're having is very tiring. After experiencing such nice weather in Jasper on the weekend (13 C), I'm back to -5 to -15 degrees with hard wind. Today it was hailing on the way home from work. The hail was a little smaller than a marble in size... pretty freaky, especially with it coming down so hard.

I seem to have caught a bit of my girlfriend's cold. My nose is running and I have the urge to sneeze every five seconds. I'm on my second box of kleenex since yesterday. Oh well, at least it's not the flu! *knocks on wood*

I went to Wal-mart yesterday to print off some digital pics of the trip. I ended up with pics I didn't even choose...oh well. I'll try again later on this week.

My younger sister (whom I vented about earlier this month) is still in the running for the 'dumbass of the year' award. She starts work at 6:30 am and I saw her up before 6 am this morning so I was sure she was going to be on time for work. It's about a 12 minute drive from here to work. It was 6:22 am and I see her come upstairs from the basement to leave for work. I'm thinking, 'what the hell???! What has she been doing down there that she's running late? Well, hopefully there's light traffic and she can get to work only a few minutes late...' Well, about five minutes later, I leave for work and stop at Tim Horton's for coffee on the way. I pull into the parking lot at work and get out of my vehicle and who whips into the parking lot just then? Yep, my sister and her loser boyfriend. They stopped at Tim Horton's!!! She was freakin' late but decided to stop at Tim Horton's on the way. Un-freakin'-believable. I just stood there, stunned. She walked by me all snotty-like and said, "What? I tried to call... nobody answered." Um... that's your excuse for being stupid? She's been late about a hundred times since she started there last year. It's only a matter of time before she's fired. It's only been about a month since she was suspended for three days. God, she's stupid.

Not only that, but her boyfriend, who finally got a job last week, is already unemployed again. He went to work for a few days and then since Thursday he's been spending his days sleeping and doing god knows what at our place. I mentioned that to my sister as well and she flipped out at me. I'm thinking I'm now 100% sure they're both doing meth again.


Today I'm grateful for:

* Communication via text messages
* Caffeine
* Jigsaw puzzles
* My grandmother seeing another birthday tomorrow

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Home Again...

Just got home from Jasper about an hour ago. My goodness, what a rollercoaster ride this weekend has been. I still can't figure out if the good outweighs the bad or the bad outweighs the good. I'm going to mull that over while I transfer some digital pics to my computer.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Freakin' Finally... it's Friday!!!

Okay, so I was whining yesterday. I don't think it'll be that bad.

I text messaged my girlfriend this morning to see how she's feeling. She said 'a little better'. Hm... not sure if that's just because it's morning and usually a cold is a little better in the morning.

I slept on my stomach last night and for some reason that seemed to have helped my back a little. I have better movement today. Of course that could change while putting socks on or something, but hey, so far so good.

I'm getting my hair cut and a few more highlights put in in an hour. Last time I went, she put in more lowlights than highlights and I'm sick of the lowlights now. I always enjoy going there even though it's always a three hour ordeal. Lots of laughs and stories to make a person feel really good about paying a large amount of money for beautification.

I also need to hit Wal-mart for some kleenex with lotion for my girlfriend (she makes fun of the lotion kind when I buy it but when I don't and she has a cold, she asks for it... ha ha) and lithium batteries. Apparently that's what my digital camera takes. The old batteries died in the camera in the 7 months I haven't used it. I'm determined to use it this weekend while I'm in Jasper. Otherwise, what's the point of having the damn camera in the first place?

Oh, that reminds me (somehow)... I need to make a few mixed cd's before my hair appointment. My girlfriend is bringing one of Ellen Degeneres' cds but that'll only be an hour or so and I think all she has in her car is country. Country music is okay depending on the artist and amount of time we're listening to it, but I'm going to make something just in case.

Today I'm grateful for:

* Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* Peace and quiet
* Weather channel telling me it's going to be really warm in Jasper

Thursday, March 15, 2007

The Proverbial Wrench

Why can't things ever go as planned?

While getting dressed this morning, I somehow threw my back out a little. I managed to get to work, but only lasted an hour before having to go back home. It's a little better right now but still sore as hell. Of course this happens the day before I go away for the weekend.

My girlfriend is sicker than a dog. I went over to her place this evening to bring her some dinner and she was just laying on the bed in a daze.... sneezing, I kid you not, every five seconds and blowing her nose every ten. She wasn't this bad yesterday or the day before... it's come on strong now that we're a day away from going away.

I'm a strong believer in fate and like to tell myself that everything happens for a reason (easier to take [read: bitch about] that way, I suppose). Why in the hell is this happening THIS weekend then??? This was supposed to be a romantic weekend away... but now it's going to be the anything but. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My sister reminds me that things could be worse and that I should be grateful that I'm even in a position to be able to go away for the weekend with my girlfriend (aka have a girlfriend and have the time off and have the means/credit) and I suppose she's right, but dammit... sigh... it's bad enough Christmas was ruined by illness (holy cow, I hope I'm never that sick again!!!), but now my birthday week too.

Okay, I'll suck it up.

Today I'm grateful for:

* My new Maybelline eye shadow and eyeliner that looks awesome
* Four days off
* Wireless internet connection (so I can lay in bed with the heating pad as I type this)
* The fact that I'm not sick right now like I was at Christmas

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

29 (for the first time)

Today is my 29th birthday. The end of my 20's...sigh...

I woke up to swollen tonsils at 2:30 this morning. It hurts to eat and swallow. This is probably the tenth time I've had swollen tonsils in the past year. My stupid doctor still says I shouldn't get them out.

Anyway, my best friend put up three signs on my office door so people couldn't help but notice that it was my birthday at work.

My grandparents, aunt, and girlfriend came over for dinner tonight. My girlfriend hasn't been feeling well for the past few days, so she went home shortly after dinner. We had a Dairy Queen ice cream cake and watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding because my grandmother had never seen it before. My grandmother caught me up on the ailments of my extended family. Quite scary, really... two uncles have cancer, one terminal and will be gone by year's end. One great aunt died last month from cancer and another one had her shoulder joint removed and cannot lift her right arm anymore. One other great aunt has the beginning stages of Alzheimer's disease and yet another has severe diabetes. Jesus christ... this is what I get to look forward to. Heart attacks, cancer, Alzheimer's... suddenly turning 29 is even more depressing.

I received $30 in Esso gift certificates and $60 cash which will come in handy for the Jasper trip this upcoming weekend. I also received a Cotton Ginny gift certificate (love that store! Pants that fit perfectly...) and my sister has a manicure, pedicure and massage booked for me on the 24th. My girlfriend bought me the perfect robe (not too thick, but warm... just what I've been looking for), another pair of much-needed cotton pyjama bottoms (I keep losing my pyjamas for some reason), and two pairs of Curious George socks (I love Curious George!!!). I don't remember ever getting so much for my birthday before. It was kind of overwhelming...

Today I'm grateful for:

* My girlfriend, who came over for my birthday even though she was feeling awful and gave me just what I hoped I would get.
* My family for helping me celebrate my birthday
* My friends for remembering my birthday
* My co-worker for letting me listen to James Blunt at work for today (he hates him)
* My health (my tonsils notwithstanding)

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Curling is too a sport...

I'm watching the Brier final right now. It's a really close game, which makes it interesting. The guys can always hit doubles and make hard shots, but the girls are more entertaining to watch.

I find it amazing how they can throw the rock at the exact weight they want and curl it where they want it. An amazing amount of skill is needed for this game. I suppose a person probably has it or doesn't.

More nice weather this weekend except it's really overcast and grey. The snow and ice continue to melt off the roads and sidewalks. I didn't really spend any time outside though, I basically left the house to go to Tim Horton's on a coffee run.

Yesterday I watched Days Of Thunder for the first time. I'm not a huge Tom Cruise fan, but it was pretty good... probably because Robert Duvall is hilarious and John C. Reilly has always been a favourite of mine. It seems Cary Elwes plays a jerk in every movie I've seen him in except probably for The Princess Bride which I couldn't stand. I still have no idea why that movie has such a huge cult following.

Today I watched Wedding Crashers which I thought was hilarious. Rachel McAdams looks great with dark hair. I love Christopher Walken in everything and anything, so it was worth seeing just for him.

My sister's boyfriend is such a loser. In booming Alberta, where you practically trip over a job on your way out of the house, he can't seem to keep a job longer than two days and just lives off of my sister's paycheque (as well as his parents'). The guy is in his early twenties...no excuse for being such a lazy slack ass. He does drugs (as does my sister, unfortunately), although which ones now, I don't really know. Meth used to be the drug of choice for both of them. Not sure if it still is. Anyway, he can't afford a car and even if he could, his insurance would be very expensive because I think he rolled a car once, or something. My sister bought his parents' old car and pays for the insurance, but he drives it around all day while she works. Apparently they broke up for the hundredth time this week. He dumped her saying he wanted to clean up his life, etc... so she said fine, she took the plates off of the car and said she was cancelling the insurance. He and his parents got so mad... said she still owed them money for the car, etc. Whatever. Fucking losers. Of course she's a dumb ass too because two days later, she took him back. Hm... he breaks up with her then realizes he'll have no car to drive around anymore and then asks her back. Wow... must be true love.

Today I'm grateful for:

* My awesome girlfriend who made this weekend wonderful
* The upcoming work week is only four days long for me
* Wal-mart being open late on a Sunday
* Not being as dumb as my younger sister when it comes to relationships

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Mid-week blah...

Still struggling to get through the week. Had an okay day today but this evening was not the greatest. I'm finding it hard to fall asleep tonight, worrying about stupid stuff...

The nerve damage in my left index finger is driving me nuts today. I've had shooting pain and throbbing all damn day long. I wish there was a way to get rid of it. Maybe there is and I don't know about it. I should research that one of these days. There's nothing like hitting it against something and having blinding pain that hurts so much, I practically roll on the ground in agony. There have been times where I've accidentally hit it while driving in rush hour traffic and to try to control the car from crashing, I've had to bite my right hand hard enough to distract my brain from the pain in my finger. How sad is that?

Today I'm grateful for (this is tough today...):

* Zantac
* My 14 year old car still working well
* Another day of warm weather

Monday, March 5, 2007

Monday Burn-out

I don't normally dread Monday morning. Monday is usally a light day for me at work, but with all of the added workload and stress... bleah. There isn't a day I enjoy at work. Maybe Friday afternoon. No, that's when I feel pressured to finish whatever I'm working on for the day by 4 pm when everyone is literally standing at the door waiting to go home. I think it's safe to say that I'm the only work-a-holic in the office.

I'm still waiting to find a good stress reliever (other than sex). I wish the weather would warm up again so I could go walking...

My boss brought in her month old son for us to see. God, I love babies. He threw up all over me and himself but it didn't really bother me (I had a lab coat on). They're so cuddly and cute and demand all of your attention. I've been thinking about kids a lot lately...sigh...

Today I'm grateful for:

* Getting to hold a cute little baby
* Being able to talk frankly with my co-worker about issues bothering me
* Almost finishing a project I was supposed to finish in January

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Weekend Getaway...finally.

I am beyond thrilled to be getting out of the city and far away from work and family for a few days later this month. For an early birthday present, my best friend gave me one night's stay & breakfast at the Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge to use with my girlfriend this month. I'm going to use it on a Saturday and I booked at another hotel for the Friday so we can do the five hour drive that day and have all of Saturday in Jasper.

I'm not sure what exactly we'll do on the Saturday because I've only been to Jasper twice, once for only a few hours and the other time to spend the night on our way home from Banff. I'll have to look online for some ideas. Unfortunately my girlfriend had a sports accident a month ago and tore up her knee, so skiing and hiking are out of the question. Maybe there are some tours or something we can do...

Today I'm grateful for:

* Internet access
* Sleeping in
* Call display
* Coffee

Warmer weather, better mood (in theory)...

Today was above zero and the snow was melting like crazy. Of course we have so much snow that it'll take two months to melt it all, but it's a start. Being outside was an absolute pleasure while the sun was up. Fresh air and sunshine... I even had an ice cream cone. I saw girls out in flip flops. That's a little crazy, but in Canada, anything is possible once it starts to warm up. It's so nice to ease away from the cabin fever. I just can't stand staying inside this much anymore!!! I want to walk around, but right now the sidewalks are very icy and I'm accident prone, so I'm not going to risk it yet.

I bought a new shower head (one that has a hose to help rinse the walls/tub) and three new bath towels. I bought the three towels for cheaper than the shower head. I never realized how expensive they could be. I didn't even get a massage feature on mine... it just 'drenches' which is basically all I want in my shower. For a massage feature (but less drenching), it was an extra $10 - $20. Um... no thanks. $39.99 plus tax was enough for me, thank you.

Tonight my girlfriend had plans with co-workers, so I went out with my mother, sister and my sister's friend to see Music & Lyrics at the local theatre. I really enjoyed the movie and might buy it when it comes out on DVD.

Today I'm grateful for:

* My parents for telling me they love me today
* Afternoon naps with my girlfriend as my pillow
* Funny people who make me laugh despite myself
* Daydreams about things I may want in the near future

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Thank you for [blank]...

I realized, as I pulled away from the drive-thru window at Tim Horton's this morning, that people do not say 'thank you' or exchange praise nearly enough as they should. In the past few years, I've been trying to extend more positive feedback to the individuals I interact with, whether friends or the person handing me my coffee through the drive-thru window. It's amazing what a change that makes. I remember when I worked in the fast food industry, I could be having a lousy shift but all it would take is one customer who gave a compliment or a 'thank you very much' and suddenly it wasn't all that bad. A little praise goes a long way, whether reflected outward or not.

At work, shooting off e-mails of praise for completing a particularly hard project makes co-workers happy to help again the next time. Acknowledging hard work is probably one of the best things a supervisor can do to improve moral in the workplace. A raise, as wonderful as that is, often fades from memory within a few weeks. Praise for exceptional work lasts a lot longer and makes people actually want to be part of the team and do well. Praise and thank-yous also help get me my coffee at the drive-thru window without the person practically throwing the debit pin pad into my car for me to process.

Today I'm grateful for:

* The fact that tomorrow's Friday.
* Another project almost finished at work.
* Only another month and a half to two months of cold weather until spring/summer.
* The fact that unlucky February is over. Brutal 28 days this year...