Today was stress-o-rama at work. I think the headache I've had most of the day is finally subsiding. I'm finishing off the last of the beer in the fridge, left from... well, weekends when she would stay over. I took a sleeping pill about half an hour ago so hopefully I will be able to fall asleep before midnight, unlike last night or the night before when I was not able to take one. This not being able to sleep because I'm heartbroken and depressed is sucking big time.
I took my cell phone down off of the high shelf it's on right now to see if I had any messages. I do occasionally get calls or messages from other people so I thought I better make sure I'm not ignoring anyone while I refuse to carry my cell phone. That is the biggest reminder of the relationship... my cell phone. Text messages and phone calls... I now have a plan on my phone that I don't need. I can't even stand to look at it. It's high up where I cannot see it. I'm paying money to have it rest up there and get dusty. I'm not sure when I'll be able to carry it around in my purse again... or even have it down where I can see it. I know it probably won't be until I go to Toronto. Even then It'll probably be hard.
Speaking of hard things, another object I have a hard time looking at is the stuffed animal monkey that she gave me back in October. I had thrown it off the side of the bed that is near the wall so I didn't have to look at it. She gave it to me at the airport when I was leaving on a business trip for the first time in our relationship so I'd have something to snuggle up to while sleeping in a strange bed. We named him 'Benny' and he has a stuffed animal monkey of his own now, just like the Telus billboards, courtesy of my sister. He's the cutest little thing and soft as silk. Last night I decided to rescue him from the floor and put him back on the bed. It's not his fault this has happened.
I'm not one for stuffed animals but I do have a soft spot for monkeys. Her and I ended up with three between us... Benny which she gave me and then two at her place that I gave her (one in September and one in December that I found while on another business trip) One is Milo and the other is Sally. Milo has a nose with one nostril that looks like it's closed and Sally looks like a reject that either wasn't sewn straight or is lacking in sufficient stuffing. It seemed from day one that there were always monkeys showing up on TV or in the movies (one weekend early on we somehow ended up watching the first Pirates movie about ten times because her DVD has some weird continuous loop feature and we liked it enough to not be bothered to turn it off). We decided it was some sort of sign, so one day I gave her one and told her it followed me home from Wal-mart. We called 'em our kids and would jokingly prop them up to watch TV or turn their heads if we were making out. Stupid, I know... but it was fun. Sally worked for UPS and Milo and Benny were gigolos to help pay for the expensive knee brace she had to get last month.
Anyway... I think the sleeping pill has kicked in now. Yay... no more ramble about stuffed animals.
I received the Xena 10th Anniversary set in the mail today. It was all dented and scratched to hell, but I somehow didn't notice until *after* I removed the plastic. Dumbass. I sent Amazon a flaming e-mail letting them know how angry I am about the condition it arrived in. I know nothing will happen, but it made me feel better. I watched three episodes so far but have not gotten to one of my all-time favourite episodes, 'Been There Done That'. Xena ends up repeating the day over and over again ala Groundhog Day.It has my favourite Xena quote ever... she runs into Gabrielle and Joxer and is so sick of hearing the same questions from them over and over again because at that point she's repeated the day quite a few times. All she does is look at 'em and say, "No, no, yes, no... I tried that... yes, *both* ways. No, I don't know... No *again*. Are there any more questions? Good." and walks away. : ) Yeah, I'm easily amused by such things.
Today I'm grateful for:
* The ability to swallow
* Sleeping pills working!
* The end of a stressful day
* The Wok Box take-out menu
* Not crying today. Yay!
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