I think I have something stuck in my esophagus. I've had that feeling since I arrived at work this morning. I took a couple of pills with a big glass of water but I guess one (or all of them) got stuck along the way. Nothing I drink or eat seems to help it. Actually, eating just makes it worse... like it's sitting on top of the pill that's stuck. Fuck, it hurts. I just drank a cup of hot tea in hope that it'll dissolve a little. No luck yet, but I hope it eases up in the next hour.... I don't want to have to go to the hospital for something this stupid.
I've also been trying to remove a bowl of alphabet soup from the off-white carpet in my bedroom. It doesn't want to come out though... looks like it's stained for good. At least I wasn't the one who did it! I don't understand how this doesn't come out and yet the cherry cough syrup that I dumped all over the carpet when I was deliriously ill last August came out after a solid effort. Weird...
It's finally cooling down, at least for the night. It's been ridiculously hot here for the past week and a half. Finally some rain!! I think I'm going to go for a short walk in a bit. Nothing like fresh rain smell outside. :)
Last night I decided to try falling asleep without a sleeping aid for the first time in two weeks. Yeah, that sucked. I think the last time I looked at the clock, it was 2:30 am. Of course with stuff stuck in my throat right now, I will be going without the sleeping aid tonight as well. I feel a long night ahead of me...
I finished Season 2 of The Closer last night. I was going to start Season 1 of Criminal Minds tonight, but I haven't decided if I want to watch that or an actual movie. This needing to be distracted constantly sucks. I miss my girlfriend and our relationship. :( I need to snap out of this sometime soon though because I can't stand the mess I've let accumulate in my bedroom. I'm a very neat person, but since last Saturday... yeah, I haven't done a damn thing to keep anything in order. My folded laundry is in a pile on the floor, next to a pile of jackets and my purse, next to the huge tangle which is my old laptop, the power cord to my current laptop and various other gadgets. My desk is messed up but I haven't been sitting at it. I've been either propped up in bed using my laptop or at the dining room table. Oh, there's also the pile of amazon cardboard packaging and other bubble envelopes from the stuff I've purchased online in the past few weeks (more to come at the end of the week... must stop doing that) to entertain myself. I know cleaning it all up could be a method of entertainment....but I don't feel like it. I read somewhere that to start healing a broken heart you should treat yourself like you're ill for a while. That makes sense. When you have the flu or something, you put off all sorts of stuff and indulge in whatever you feel like at the time in order to make yourself feel as comfortable as possible. That's pretty much how it is right now. I just need to not spend anymore money on DVDs now and it'll be all good. I also need to stop eating junk... damn diet got lost yesterday and haven't been found since. I knew that was going to happen....
Today I'm grateful for:
* My friends in various locations
* The long hug my youngest sister gave me on Sunday
* A/C in my office
* The respect I get from those who count at work
* Not completely falling to pieces... yet.
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