Love in the First Degree (Novel in the second)

I have been with your former moderator for almost one year. One year since we met up on the spur of the moment and supped coffee while I lamented on the sadness of Julie Andrews losing her voice. In my defence, I was reading an article on this subject when Jennifer approached. I believe the first thing I said to her face to face is, "Julie Andrews has lost her voice...there may never be the sound of music ever again". Most women would have looked at me and said something to the effect of, "Sorry...I'm looking for my husband, he's . . .". But not Jennifer. We wandered awhile to a park. We had dinner at a place postered with pop-culture and I mistook the over sized Dixie Chicks picture for a rather fetching picture of the Golden Girls. "You mean that's not Blanche? Blimey". And still, she stayed.

Something I have never told her....

We were getting on extremely well. It was easy and she was astute, cute and knew exactly when to say the right thing, the funny thing, the sensitive thing . . . and so I said I had to leave because, "I have to do some things this evening..I should go". Truth be, I had nothing to do whatsoever. I just needed to control what might be happening.

It was my first date in well....I have never dated. I've only ever stumbled into relationships with people I have known as close friends for a very long time. The concept of going out to meet a person with the sole purpose of finding a love/sex relationship with them is completely foreign to me.

That evening I rang my wife who was (and is) in a relationship with my former girlfriend in NB and I got their advice, their thoughts, their general support (note they were my best friends first and remained so after all our switch-a-roo nonsense). That night I wrote to my parents and told them I had had this date . . . truth be, much like Jenn, I wasn't sure. It was scary. Yet I was excited and flattered and relieved and curious....when later that week Jenn casually rang to ask me to go to see an art exhibit, I did not hesitate...on the advice of everyone...'just do it' seemed to be the order of the day. And so I did. It was the best date I have ever had and that was the evening that hooked me. I was in. I had the passport and visa ready...I was going back to Lesbainia and this time I might just be staying....

Something about Jennifer draws me in over and over. On paper and sometimes in everyday life we aren't something an e-harmony ad' would come up with....but it flows and comes back to its centre every time. I know she has been hurt so deeply that she thought she would never be here again. So everyday I do my best to make sure she knows her heart is now in a safe place. I'll do lots of things to have her know that (the latest being that damn Wii Fit she wants so badly...I think I'll be arrested once it arrives...it seems very shady this deal I've done to procure one!)...aside from material things (my weakness when it comes to her), I also want her to know HOME the moment she walks through our door. Needless to say we have a beautiful home ;).

Sometimes at a loss, you can not express the love enough so you channel it in the ways above. But those are not the things that truly count. It is the look that does it. It is the silence. Because the silence is before everything. With Jenn it is her watching me, acknowledging what she has, what I have and what we have...a fleeting look in a crowded room that feels as though it is going on forever. That moment stays long after the cushions are straightened or a gift has been given that I know she would adore...for those things I know she could do without. The look says that I could have nothing material to give and still, she would look at me that way. That is the most brilliant and beautiful thing a lover can give.

So here we are almost at a year. I am sleeping on the sofa tonight as she has had the worst insomnia and I am fairly sure that me getting up 50 times a night does not help...me being out here has nothing (ahem...) to do with Nancy Grace going almost off her rocker this week (the woman is stark raving MAD I tell you..HOW, HOW does she have a TV show...it belies belief but it is the best comedy on television...it's a parody of..well, itself, in so many ways)....I am excited as I never get to watch it...and this is why Jenn and I work so well...we can do this without it being any issue whatsoever. She gets to sleep and I get me Nancy. Win-win ;).

Okay...nothing else to declare. Except the bloody Wii Fit....is anyone else a little SICK of this marketing hell yet?? Stores STILL do not have Wiis for goodness sakes...people still want them...so call me a little behind but does it not stand to reason that Wii Fits would be available for those who actually HAVE the Wii??? Stores get 20 at a time...does that even seem right? And they are gone within the hour!? Clearly it is driving up the black market . . . yes Nintendo benefit from the people who bought 20 at one time but now these people are now selling them for double the Nintendo price...I dunno...it's working yes, but I think people will get sick of the Wii and Wii Fit being in such short supply....right now it's clever....people are STILL clamouring...I mean I love me Jenn, so off I went for a Wii on her birthday...and over one year on I actually had to line up for a Wii and was the last person to get one that day! I thought people behind me were going to need medical attention they were so upset...not angry (as they should be - at Nintendo) but literally, people were looking as if their soul had been trampled upon. And no one in that line wanted it for themselves...that was the thing! I might research this marketing ploy a bit more and get back to you on this.

Okay - Nancy DisGrace is on, settling in for the night - bugger off everyone - let the entertainment begin!

Jules