update on life

I haven't really felt like updating for a while.  I'm feeling stressed about work and cranky about the pregnancy lately and haven't really felt like writing about it.  At work I'm trying to train a co-worker for my position but the co-worker hasn't even started training someone for his position and just finally hired someone take over that person's position (if you could follow that).  I feel like the days and weeks are just slipping by and that I'll be handing over the reigns to someone who cannot handle the position.  My last day of work will be December 20th and then I'll have a week of vacation and then I'm officially off on mat leave.  I'm both excited for that time to come and terrified all at the same time.

I really hope that I can make it until the 20th so I don't need to adjust our December budget because if everything works out right, we'll have possession on a house December 14th!  Our offer was accepted and so we're just getting the financing and house inspection done in the next week or so and then we'll be home owners for the first time.  It's a semi-detached home in a nice neighbourhood literally two minutes from where we live now.  It's a nice little starter home for us which we'll probably decide to rent out to people in about five years.  It's about six years old and immaculate inside and comes with all the essential appliances and window blinds/coverings.  It has two bedrooms upstairs, both with en suite bathrooms and walk in closets (one is larger as it is the master bedroom) and one bedroom in the basement.  There is also a bathroom with a shower in the basement and a powder room on the main floor.  It has a single attached garage and a fenced in back yard (fairly decent size considering nobody gets a decent backyard in this province anymore) with a nice deck off the back of the house.

As for the pregnancy, I think it's safe to say I'm ready for it to be over soon.  I definitely don't want the baby to come early so I try not to complain but boy do some of these pregnancy symptoms/annoyances suck.  Feeling like I can barely catch my breath half the time, having surprise reflux up into my mouth at random intervals (bad enough during waking hours but definitely the scariest way to wake up out of a dead sleep ever!), waddling around like I'm the fattest person in the world, painful sciatica on my right side every damn day, and now my second trimester energy has left me and I feel like I need a nap every day.  Nothing like trying to concentrate on getting things tied up at work and feeling like a scatterbrain. :(

On the upside, baby girl is thriving and grooving up a storm.  An ultrasound I had a week and a half ago showed she's in the 50th percentile for growth and all her organs and body parts look great.  The technician showed us that she has hair now as well.  At the ultrasound she was head down but I know she's moved around a lot since then.  Sometimes I catch a feel of her bum or her foot or her arm/shoulder with my hand so who knows how she's positioned now.  

My blood pressure is still awesome as is my urine and I passed my glucose test no problem (despite my new craving for ice cream daily).  So despite feeling miserable these days I guess I can't really complain too much.  I've now gained the 25 lbs that I was given as a guideline for this pregnancy (about a pound a week for a while now) so while I'm a little concerned about gaining more, I'm not going to beat myself up about it.  

Our baby... now in 3D

Our baby girl this afternoon at 26w1d... As I suspected, she's still got enough room in there to do complete somersaults which she demonstrated twice while we were watching.  Her current likes are her hands, playing with her feet, sucking her thumb, somersaults, intricate twisting moves, sitting on my bladder and burrowing her head up in my ribs.

"Noooo... I'm shy... No photos!"

"Well, okay, I'll stop moving long enough for a picture."

"Hm... If I use mommy's bladder as a springboard, I could probably do a complete backflip..."

"Okay, that's enough.  No more pictures!  I have a nap scheduled."

100 Days

According to the ticker at the top, I have approximately 100 days left with this pregnancy.  That seems like a lot of time and yet not that much time.  It depends on the day, I suppose.  Friday to Monday I felt so awesome and got some decent sleep (meaning at least 15 min per side before having to roll on my back to get feeling back in my arms) and then last night and today have been awful pain and nausea-wise.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better.  I finally booked an appointment for a massage so Friday afternoon is going to hopefully be VERY nice.

I was told to go for the gestational diabetic screen test sometime after Thursday.  The form says I need to fast for 3-4 hours before I go do it.  I looked online and some doctors say fast, some don't.  I'm wondering if I should just go first thing in the morning... or is that too much of a fast?  

Saturday we have our 3D ultrasound booked.  So excited to see what the baby looks like.  Hopefully all goes well. :)

I've been absolutely terrible at documenting my growing belly thus far.  Aside from my wedding photos, this is the only belly shot I have and only because someone nagged me to take it.

25 Week Belly Shot

Random thoughts from the week

On Tuesday I had my first appointment with the OB I was referred to.  I was nervous going in but it turned out to be a really great experience.  He is probably in his late 50's and has a really pleasant accent I can't quite place.  He was so gentle (both in demeanor and with the pelvic exam) and very patient and kind when it came to discussing the pregnancy and what is to come.  His nurse was also very nice and kind.  I left there feeling buoyed by the experience.

The baby appears to be doing well and continues to move and groove throughout the day which I'm finding to be a stress reliever at work.  There's nothing like tuning out a problem at work for a few minutes to focus on the little being moving around inside me, reminding me of the big picture in my life.

I continue to have really bad rib and mid to lower back pain.  Definitely time to book that prenatal massage.  In the meantime baths and my trusty heating pad are my best friends.  I normally hate laying on our couch but today I had a pretty comfortable nap thanks to the added support on the back while laying on my side.  I think I might try that more often.

My feet have grown at least half a size in the past month.  Today was spent buying a comfortable pair of shoes in a larger size that can be slipped on easily (because bending over that far has become nearly impossible now) and have a little bit of room for probable swelling in the next few months.  Hopefully they don't expand anymore than this because comfortable shoes are expensive!

I've been going out and walking several times a week.  I can usually make it all the way to the local Second Cup, health cafe or grocery store before my belly starts tightening up and feeling a bit uncomfortable.  It feels good to move around like that and I find it is helping my body handle the pregnancy better (except for the back pain and heartburn).

We are trying to hold out two more weeks before going for a 3D ultrasound.  I can't wait...

Today my passport expired.  I keep forgetting to go get pictures taken to get the process going on renewal and it isn't like I'm planning on traveling anywhere in the next four months.  Still, it feels weird to now be trapped in the country.

At 23 Weeks...

Weeks 18 - 21 were by far the best pregnancy weeks so far. I could feel the baby moving by week 18, was finally looking more pregnant and was getting nearly a full night's sleep for the first time in four months.  That continued for a few weeks until sometime last week when the mid to low back pain that had been slowly making itself a presence became a nearly full time nuisance, especially at night while trying to sleep.  I've been experimenting with pillows and wedges and whatnot but have not found a comfortable way to stay sleeping (or at least resting in bed) in between getting up to go to the bathroom at night.

Other irritations that have come on strong in the last week or so are heartburn, sinus congestion and headaches.  I have adjusted my diet to remove anything remotely sweet or spicy.  That is probably my greatest disappointment with this pregnancy - the inability to consume anything with spice.  I LOVE spicy food and I especially miss all the Indian food I used to make but sadly I cannot even use pepper these days without enduring heartburn. This of course doesn't stop me from craving all sorts of wonderful things my body cannot tolerate right now.  It's really unfair how that happens.

My sinus congestion is really annoying and causes me to breathe through my mouth a lot, especially at night.  The headaches are probably partly related to the sinus problem and partly due to hormones, either way I was out of commission most of this weekend with near-migraine quality headaches.  So not fun.

I'm going to look into getting a prenatal massage sometime in the next week or so and hopefully that will help everything a bit.  I've been meaning to book one for a while now but never seem to get around to it because I can't really imagine how comfortable it will be.  I guess I'll eventually find out.

This week I have my first OB appointment, a dentist appointment (now that I can finally sort-of tolerate the taste of mint again) and a long overdue hair appointment to get at least 4 inches trimmed off.  

Work has become crazy busy in the past month as the busy season has begun.  My back-up while I'm off on mat leave is about 5% trained - total fail so far.  It is really hard to find the time to write up standard operating procedures from scratch while dealing with a million other things each day (in between a zillion bathroom breaks of course).  I'm starting to stress a little on this because almost none of my job tasks can be picked up after doing them just once or twice.  My original goal was to have him fully trained by the end of November in case something happened with my pregnancy (bed rest, etc.) but I think we'll be pushing that now. 

Well, my attention is being drawn to the busy mover in my uterus so I'm going to go find Jules so she can feel her daughter performing her nightly gymnastics routine. :)

Sweet Moment

I've been feeling the baby move around and hiccup for two weeks now which is one of the most amazing things I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing but tonight, for the first time, Jules was able to feel her move and that moment between the three of us was the textbook definition of awesome.

Family

Sometimes I feel like an alien when I visit my family.  Like I'm from somewhere completely foreign with different beliefs, a different personality and a different outlook on life.

I haven't always felt this way, only since I moved far enough away from them to really take notice.

Jules has always been taken aback by my family and I cannot even count the number of arguments we've had about my family members.  As much as I agree with her on the majority of issues, they still are my family and I am a loyal person so I spend a lot of time feeling guilty and torn.

So, what is it about my family?

• They swear a ridiculous amount.  Now, I'm not exactly innocent of this myself but my goodness, I don't have to fit it in to every conversation I have.  I'm able to censor myself in social situations and I'm able to have tough discussions without throwing in the f-word several times.  My father and my youngest sister, on the other hand, seem incapable of speaking English without liberal use of various swear words.  My mother is pretty bad too but she does seem to have the ability to censor herself in public.
• They are loud.  I don't know if it's because there used to be five of us in a small house all trying to be heard but my goodness, I go crazy trying to visit when my youngest sister and mom are trying to tell a story, etc.  And the arguing... oh my goodness, tempers flare very fast in my family.
• My dad is disrespectful of other cultures and uses derogatory terms.  I cringe when I hear my dad use the word 'retard' or a derogatory name for someone of a different ethnicity from us.  I can see this has rubbed off on my youngest sister, who I think also gets this behaviour from the construction site she works at. :(
• They feel entitled.  This is, again, my mom and youngest sister as well as my mom's sister.  They work hard at their jobs but they are very lazy at home and complain a lot about what they haven't received or what they think they deserve.  My mom's sister is 57 years old and lives in her parents basement rent free.  She treats my grandparents like they are small children.  The other day she demanded I add her back on as a Facebook friend (I defriended her back in April for a very distasteful comment she made on one of my posts) because she needs to know what's going on with me now that she's going to be a great-aunt.
• They just don't understand how to think before speaking sometimes.  Especially on Facebook.  This is specifically my youngest sister and my mom's sister as mentioned in the point above.  Re-posting utter garbage with profanity and rude images is just so trashy.  Hijacking someone's post about something is also downright rude, as is making a snide comments that are anything but clever.

There are other things that make me wonder how I share the same DNA as some of them, but I'm too tired (or perhaps disheartened) to list more.  Five or six years ago, I would not have really felt this way because although I tried to avoid my family and stick to myself for the most part, I still did live with some family so I was still 'in it' on a daily or weekly basis.  But now that I've been away from it for years and am in the process of starting a family of my own, I feel a little overwhelmed by what to do once we have the baby.  How do I expose my daughter to this behaviour?  How do I limit her exposure to this without hurting the feelings of my family?  

I really wish Jules' family wasn't all the way across the ocean.  Her parents are such wonderful role models as is the rest of her family.  I wish our daughter could have Jules' parents to visit on a regular basis to know as role models.  

Growing up, I thought my parents were decent (never had curfew, never got grounded, never had to speak to a C on my report card) but it wasn't until I became an adult and now on the verge of motherhood that I realized that what I really ended up with was half-assed parents (see, I can swear too).  I was never taught to say 'please' and 'thank you'.  I learned that on my own as I went through life and now try to teach my family how to do it.  I never had to speak to a poor report card because they never wanted to look at it!  They never wanted to go to a school play and they refused to go to parent/teacher night. I was never asked if I had homework, they just assumed I did it.  My sisters and I never had the structure most kids grow up with.  As an eight year old, my parents just assumed I'd come home for lunch each school day to an empty house and make myself something for lunch.  Never showing me how to make anything, I taught myself how to use the microwave, the stove and the popcorn maker.  I ate a lot of popcorn and microwaved Mr. Noodles for lunch.  I only started a fire on the stove once, I think.

I could honestly go on and on but now I'm even questioning posting this for the five people who read this blog.  Nobody has a perfect family, everyone has family members they wish they could vote off the island, etc.  It's just that sometimes it is harder to take than others, and tonight was one of those times.  And with a new person coming into this family next year, I get worried thinking that it is eventually going to affect/rub off on her too.