I knew this would happen...

I knew I'd start getting sad/depressed after the fun was over for the week...

I knew I'd be on the 30 second clip CTV used for the Toronto Pride parade...

I knew I'd be dreading tomorrow...

I knew I should have erased that last text message from her so I wouldn't look at it every day and feel like I've been kicked in the stomach each and every time...

I know exactly how you feel... I wish I could change that but I can't... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too. I miss her so fucking much it hurts. Having a ton of fun halfway across the country did not change that... it only masked it for a while. Fuck. How do I go back home to resume life without her. How do I MAKE myself acknowledge that her text message means it just isn't going to turn out like I want. If she misses me so goddamn much, then why the hell isn't she changing things? Ughhhhhhhhhhh.....

I wonder what I'll weigh when I get home. I haven't been on a scale in a week...

I'm going to miss Stacey, Angele, Riley and their friends. Well, some of them I think I can consider my friends too. I need to move closer to my gay friends. Sigh... too bad I actually like my job.

Today, on the parade float, it was unreal how people in the crowd went absolutely insane for the bead necklaces we were throwing. All of these people screaming at you, with their hands in the air, desperate for what you have to give them.... it was unbelievable. I couldn't believe how fast the time went once the parade started. It was one of those moments in time that I've taken a mental snapshot to remember yet another time in my life where I was doing something completely not part of my normal life. I love moments like that.

Today I'm grateful for:

* Experiencing T.O. Pride
* Having felt like the most powerful person in the world for an hour and a half
* Water
* Sleep (eventually)
* Not breaking my leg in Stacey's bathroom
* Realizing that I need to talk to Stacey more often between visits