Okay, so I'm looking at these online personal ads and it's enough to send someone into a deep depression. Apparently there are only five single lesbians in Edmonton. I don't like any of their profiles... they're kind of creepy. There are about five trillion single gay men in Edmonton, according to these sites and who's online, etc. Fuck... I envy gay men and their ability to not fucking hide away and take a chance. Lesbians? Forget about it... sigh...

Do I even want a date? No. I'm still in love with my undeserving ex. Do I want to meet someone as a friend? Yes. If I actually meet someone will they hit on me and make it really awkward and eventually I'll have to avoid them if I don't want to return that attention? Oh, probably. That's usually how it happens. If I like the person a lot, they drift away. If I don't, they're drawn to me like a fucking magnet. Why this is, I'll never know. Maybe I could un-block some of the girls on my MSN list and ask them...

I didn't even leave the house today, except to go for a 2 mile walk. I took a three hour nap around lunch time. I read some HP and surfed the lesbian sites. Fuck, I'm boring. I should have went out swimming or golfing or at least went to the driving range. Better yet, I could have done laundry or something really useful. This isn't getting me any closer to any of my goals, staying inside...

God, I miss her...

Today I'm grateful for (really stretching it today..):

* The last HP book to read
* Tomorrow I get to occupy myself with work
* A/C in the house when it's 30 C outside
* My iPod